


im/perfect

by hurricane_drunk



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Hope, M/M, autistic makoto, but what else is new, byakuya has a superiority complex, byakuya has ocd, daily life, kind of ooc, makoto being a slut for hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-26 09:43:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17743544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurricane_drunk/pseuds/hurricane_drunk
Summary: togami byakuya has to be perfect. he has to be flawless.being gay and mentally ill doesnt help.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i dont have ocd or autism, but very important people in my life do. if this is incorrect, please comment and tell me in what way. this is not meant to be offensive, im so sorry if it comes off that way. constructive criticism is welcome.  
> im sorry the chapters are long, ill try to update s much as i can. this will be a short one though.  
> also i converted it from past tense to present tense, so im sorry if there are errors sksksksk

The Togami Corporation controls most of japan, has invested in most major stocks in America, the United Kingdom, India, Italy, Canada, and many more powerful countries. They’re so rich, if they went on a shopping spree they could cause mass deflation of the economy, lowering the value of the country’s currency. They hold close ties with the President of the US and the Prime Minister (and all federal government) of Japan. Each member of the Togami family is perfect in every way- even down to their genes. Each head of the Togami Corp. has to produce an heir. They're expected to have many wives and many, many children. They are, easily the most powerful force the world has to offer.

And yet, here sat the upcoming heir of the company, the future of the Togami Fortune, panicking because he can’t take a shower. Togami Byakuya is a force to be reckoned with- if you were to ask anyone around, they’ll agree. But when he’s alone, he completely falls apart. His puppet strings snap. And now, here in his dorm, he’s unraveled. He has spent the evening avoiding Fukawa, another annoying pest he would rather not be around, and that resulted in him getting to his room after 10pm, when the water shuts off. This means that he can't shower, which is a crucial part of his routine.

The progeny curses, slamming the bathroom door shut. I will not be destroyed by this. He repeats that thought five times in his head, and five times out loud. Five is his lucky number, its never let him down. That repetition helps him reclaim his breath, just a little. He can feel the panic rise in his throat. He feels dirty. He could go to the bath-house, but it wouldn’t be clean. No, it would help him relax but he’d be just as dirty as before. He needed to use his soap, his body wash, his exfoliator, his shampoo and conditioner. They're all brand-name, and he can not be proper without them. He suddenly becomes aware of his skin, that tight feeling like it doesn't fit. He can't change into his night clothes, he’d just get them dirty too. He slowly sits down with his back against the door, breathing through his teeth. He slowly removes his shoes and socks, then unbuttons his blazer and undoes his tie. This was as close to night-wear as he could get. He stood up, folds his clothes, and puts them in his hamper in a neat pile. He’d need to do laundry tomorrow. 

Now feeling slightly more in control, he strides over to his desk and picks up a book. This never seemed to work, but he tries anyway. He only got a few sentences in when he realizes he can't focus, just like always when this happens. He stands up abruptly, and started pacing his room. Most of the night was spent pacing back and forth, counting steps, stuck in a thought loop. 

The heir wakes up sitting on the floor. He must have fallen asleep in between paces. He feels awful. His alarm has woken him. 7am. Wait, he thought, the water should be back on. He rushed into the bathroom, and turned on the sink. Sure enough, water started rushing out of the faucet. He laughs not with joy, but relief. He removes the rest of his clothes, folds them, and puts them in his laundry basket amongst the others. He sets the shower to as hot as he can stand, and begins his routine. 

Although, his morning rules don't leave time for showering. Once he steps out, he realizes it's been an hour. He still has to go through his skincare, brush his teeth, put on fresh clothes, fix his hair, and get his things together (but in the right order, of course.) He began to cry.

***

Makoto Naegi is worried. He can feel it on his shoulders. He hasn’t seen Togami Byakuya all day, and he had most of his classes with the heir. At lunch, he asks his table group if any of them had seen him. The ones who had had classes with him say no. Naegi hopes none of them could tell the intense stress he's feeling, but if they could he can't judge by their faces. Halfway through lunch, he abruptly gets up and exits, taking his backpack but leaving no explanation. This wasn’t unusual, because the boy tended to do a lot of odd things like that and not realize it. 

He heads to the bathroom, too consumed in his thoughts to wave or smile back to the people in the halls. This, however, was unusual behavior for him. When he arrives, he goes to his favorite stall and drops his backpack. He puts his head in his hands and tries not to spiral. He keeps telling himself that Togami just has to be under the weather, or was needed somewhere else. He is a really busy man. The thought comforts the smaller one, though only a little. He closes his eyes, and whispers his favorite words in order of best to least. He does this until he stops shaking- when did he start shaking?- and could get up and head to his next class.

The next 3 hours of the day whiz by, and Naegi finds himself unable to recall what he had learned in his classes. But that is the least of his worries as of now. He has been fixated on the scion, and he isn't sure why. Togami has always been nothing but rude to him, calling him names and insulting his place on the hierarchy of the economy. He even makes comments to the shorter one’s intelligence, after which Naegi has to spend time reassuring himself that Byakuya couldn’t know about his disability, that's ridiculous. But, after all of this he still finds himself giving his classmate more chances. He knows there had to be a person with emotions under that mask. He may not be good at reading people’s faces, but even he, with his limitations, could tell the other boy was lying without words.

Regardless, he finds himself weaving to Togami’s room- which, surprisingly, was stage left to Naegi’s. The brunette shifts his weight between his feet, gaining his courage. Before he can overthink it, he quicky raps on the wooden door. Almost a minute later, the door opens to an inhumanly beautiful teenager, and Makoto’s voice sticks in his throat.

“What,” Togami demands, not asks. The shorter of the two immediately feels uncomfortable under his gaze, heart pounding in his chest like a caged bird. He feels like an insect pinned to a corkboard.

“Er- well, T-Togami, I didn’t see you at any of our classes,” he rushes out, talking fast and tripping over his words, “a-and that’s very unusual of you, yaknow? And I began to worry- like, if something happened to you, yaknow? So uh…” he trails off, smiling awkwardly and looking at his shoes. He receives no response from the prodigy, so he begins to fill the silence once more. “So are you okay, Togami? I mean if you don’t want to talk that’s okay,” he steals a glance at the unwavering blue eyes, and making that contact disconnects his brain from his mouth even further. He stares, not thinking if it was uncomfortable.

Togami blinks, and sighs one of his deep sighs. “Even I take sick days, Naegi. I’m not Ishimaru,” he states, dropping the name of one of their classmates, a glorified hall monitor, as Togami calls him. This makes the other boy laugh. Genuinely. The progeny can't quite tell why making the commoner laugh brings him a sort of inner peace, even joy. Naegi speaks up again relieving him from that train of thought;

“Okay, well as long as you’re alright Togami-kun!” he beams, flashing his bright, genuine smile. “I hope I see you tomorrow, then!” After that, he turns to open his door, just as the other boy closes his.

***

Damnit. This could not happen again. A Togami could not be gay, let alone for a third class citizen. He's already a disgrace enough- out of their flawless genes, he managed to develop a neurological disorder. Perfect scions do not have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. They are not mentally ill. Byakuya stands, back against the door, stewing in self-hatred. He hates everyone, and if he were honest, himself included. He hates Naegi with his stupid freckles and his fucking smile. What he hates the most about the Super High School Level Bore is how he never ceases to amaze him. When they analyze literature in their shared ELA class, Naegi is easy to rip the text apart and find metaphors and connections even the Affluent Progeny misses. Both of them take Mock Trial (one of the many unique electives at Hope’s Peak), and Togami- a man who has never been at a loss for words, someone who has a wit sharper than any weapon and the IQ of 130- has been left speechless. Togami sighs into himself, and resigns himself to bed. He finishes his homework, and by no time it's 7:30. He begins his routine, albeit a little shakily.

By the time he's got in bed, his head is swarmed with thoughts of tanned skin and straight teeth and messy hair and hazel eyes and a laugh that sounds like sunshine and… Naegi Makoto. The progeny shouldn’t be infatuated. Maybe his brain is coping with the stresses of his life, and is using the poor teen as a comfort object. That has to be it. Togami picks up his phone, swallowing a bit of his pride in the process, and looks up “how to tell if you have a crush.” after several unhelpful sites, he revisits the search bar and instead types in “how to stop having a crush.” he has far more important things to deal with, he doesn't need the little ankle biter taking up any more of his thoughts. 

Suddenly it was 11pm and the 17 year old realizes he’d been scrolling through romantic garbage for hours. He thinks he is going to be sick. What a disgrace, he thought, a man who can’t control his own mind.

***

Naegi sits at the front right of the class, next to the window. It's his favorite spot. Not just because Togami sits adjacent to him, no, it’s because of the beautiful view… which just happens to be of Togami. Kirigiri sits behind him, and always chastises him about staring in public, especially so openingly. He doesn't quite see the issue, but listens to her anyway, because she was the smartest person he knows. Class starts in 10 minutes, but the lucky boy always arrives early- though never before Ishimaru. Kirigiri is behind him, and his chair is parallel to her desk.They often sit in comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company and not feeling the need to fill it. They are the closest friends anyone could hope of being. They know each other’s deepest secrets, embarrassing stories (most of which were his), they even have inside jokes. It didn’t hurt they are both bisexual, too. Many people think they're dating, but the two don’t mind because they know it isn’t true. Both of them are more or less drowning in affections for someone else. 

Naegi is finishing telling Kirigiri that Togami would certainly be in class today, when the mentioned walks in the classroom. “Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” the lovebird mumbles, a grin starting to form. A small smile tugs at Kirigiri’s own mouth. “Lucky you,” she replied, earning a blush from the luckster.

The Super High School Level richboy settles into his chair, and Naegi turns his so that they are more or less shoulder to shoulder. “Hi, Togami-kun!” The smaller boy beams, blatantly ecstatic. The boy mentioned does not acknowledge him. Maybe if i ignore it, it’ll go away. Saved from more conversation, the teacher arrives. Naegi pulls out a spiral-bound notebook, and flips to the next blank page. This took longer than it should, because lots of pages were filled front-to-back with doodles. Compared to the notebook of the boy parallel to him, which is compact, neat, concise and color-coded, the brunette’s book is a disaster. Togami has the nerve to think it endearing. And he hates it. 

After the ringing of classes end, Naegi takes the newfound opportunity to talk to his friend. “Hey, Togami?” he asks, and the questioned decides to ignore the verbal request of conversation, and briskly walks out the classroom door. Unfortunately (although if he were forced to admit, he’d say there was a small part of him that hoped for this outcome) the nuisance proves persistent. “Um- anyway, I was wondering if you would, uh, like to hang out sometime? It’s not really my thing, or yours really, but Kuwata is having a party at his apartment just down the road-” he is cut of by an abrupt stop of movement, and a turn to so that the boy in front of him is now glaring at him.

“No.” Simple. Permanent. Conversation ending. Or so the speaker hopes.

“That’s okay!” exclaims Naegi, awkward smile barely faltering. “We could hang out in my dorm, I have movies and popcorn! Or, uh, if you want we could just study…?” the last statement is tacked on in hopes of a positive reply.

Togami can't, for the life of him, know why his stupid mouth opens and repeats a stern “fine.” He also can'y fathom why the smiling boy in front of him made his heart warm and his hands shaky. 

“Oh! Thank you, Togami-kun! You won’t regret it!” The excited boy pulls a pen from his backpack and asks for the blonde's number. Although confused as to why there is no writing material along with the pen, he complies hesitantly. In response, Naegi rolls up the sleeve to his jacket- only to reveal many other things scrawled on his tanned flesh- and writes down the string of numbers in chicken-scratch handwriting. Unprompted, the inked boy says, “they’re color-coded! Purple is for the most important, green is for less important!” Togami smugly took note of his message printed in purple ink. It made him feel… validated. Strange, he thought. 

They part ways, one boy looking like he is carrying bricks on his shoulders, the other with a skip in his step.


	2. study (date?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> naegi and togami "study" ;))  
> also i realise this is in past tense unlike the first chapter,,,, im not gonna change it bc i'd rather be writing new fanfics so uhh im sorry don't bully me pls this is the first fanfic ive ever published

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just. fluff.

Why he agreed to this, the heir did not know. But somehow, the brunette idiot was in his dorm. The former had pulled strings so he did not have a roommate; there was a good reason for this, yet there stood someone else in his room. His dorm still had two beds as it was mandatory, and surprisingly it was almost impossible to tell which side of the room was inhabited. Togami had a chest of drawers that mirrored the one on the other end of the room; the only difference being the small golden statue perched on the ledge. It looked expensive. There was also his laundry hamper and bedside table. The stark difference between his room and everyone else’s was the massive bookshelf in between the two beds. It was extremely well-stocked, and Naegi found himself gravitating towards it, slipping a book out of its crammed spot between the others. He noted the books were in alphabetical order, by last name of the author. 

The book he had selected was a historical study of the Yuan dynasty in China. It seemed so incredibly boring to Naegi, as his interests were in fantasy and cheesy romance mangas. He would never mention that around Fukawa though- she’d surely skin him alive. “That book is actually quite unique,” Togami chimed in, surveying the aforementioned book. “It follows all of the dynasty’s lives from their beginnings, to when they are to take the throne, then a new chapter starts. Only at the end do the stories come together, and wind down time like a river. I have several copies of it in different languages at home, but alas, this tiny dorm room couldn’t hold a bigger bookshelf.” Naegi found himself absolutely enthralled with how Togami speaks of things he’s passionate about. He noticed how his eyes lit up, a faint smile playing on his lips. It suddenly struck the small boy how absolutely gorgeous he found the scion. Perhaps it was a bit more than a crush.  
A few moments of silence ensued, until Togami cleared his throat, and pushed the book back into its spot. “But I doubt someone with your intellect would appreciate it.” Though the words were harsh, Naegi found no venom in them. Instead he replied- still studying the blonde’s face- with a quiet “yeah.”

With that, Togami scoffed and walked over to his desk. “Well?” he proposed, an eyebrow raised. “We came here to study, did we not?” This snapped the love-struck Naegi out of his reverie, a smile spreading across his face. 

“Yes! We did,” he said, dropping himself on Togami’s bed. The ladder looked momentarily mortified. “Jesus,” he started, “at least take your shoes off!” He snapped, walking in the bathroom to get a towel.

***

It was nearing 5pm, they had been studying for a couple hours. Naegi was easily distracted, but when he was focused he worked diligently. Once he noticed the time, he leaned over from the bed and poked Togami. The scion startled at the sudden touch, and turned his head with a glare.

“It’s getting kinda late, Togami-kun…” Naegi stated, gesturing to the analog clock.

“Indeed. I’m glad to know you can read a clock.” he deadpanned, returning to the calculus daunting him from the desk. 

“Yeah,” Naegi continued, not taking the hint, “but like, we should get dinner!” he hopped off the bed, and bounced to the mini-fridge in the corner. “Got anything in here?” he opened the door, only to find an array of medications, and the fridge unplugged. Togami swore, and before Naegi could register what he found, an arm was in front of him, slamming the fridge door shut.

When Naegi looked up, he was surprised to see the usually calm progeny drained of color and visibly shaking. “What’s wrong?” the luckster asked, his face quizzical.

Togami leered at him, incredulous. “W-what’s wrong? Are you fucking blind, Naegi?” This retort made the shorter one jump, it was extremely rare to hear such profanity from the blonde. Even rarer to hear him stutter- unheard of, perhaps. “You- you just,” he sputtered, “you didn’t see a goddamn thing, understand?” Naegi grew even more confused, not understanding the issue. He took meds, too.

“I… what? What did I see?” At this question, blood rushed to the scion’s face, the tips of his ears turning red. “I take meds too, you know?” Naegi continued, trying to explain his confusion. “So it’s really not that weird. You don’t have to, uh, freak out…?” he trailed off, because Togami was now looking at him like he was the strangest person on the planet.

“No,” Togami finally spoke, slow and careful, “you don’t understand.” He straightened himself, and pushed up his glasses, trying to hide his face. “I’m a Togami.”

“Meaning… what, exactly?” the lucky student was still dumbfounded. 

“Meaning,” he snapped, staring the confused boy down, “I have to be perfect. I cannot be flawed. I am perfect of course.” he paused, regaining his confident stature. “Physically. I have perfect genes. My clothes are perfect. I make people gawk in my presence. But…” he trailed off, looking at the boy who was one of those exceptions, “not mentally. Not now, at least.” He crossed his arms and stared at the wall for a moment. “Do you know what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is, Naegi?” He was rewarded with a curious look from the questioned. He sighed, and gestured for Naegi to sit back on his bed. Once they were facing each other, Togami at his desk, he spoke once again.

“It means I have obsessive thoughts on certain things. Or people.” The last question was paired with a pointed look at the boy sitting on his bed, looking like a goddamn angel. “They can last for a day, or for months. I have to keep everything organised to my liking, I have to follow the rules my parents have made for me. I have to stick to my rituals. I cannot stray from them,” he took a deep breath, leaned back in his chair, and pushed his glasses up (out of habit. They were perfectly steady on his face, it was just a fidget he found himself doing out of reflex.) “the reason I was not in attendance the other day, was because of my… disorder. I was busied that night, and the thought to take my medication had escaped me.” He tried to study Naegi’s face, and only found eyes full of curiosity, even wonder. 

“I understand!” Naegi blurted, with a smile that Togami thought inappropriate for the situation. “I forget to take my meds too, sometimes.” He frowned suddenly, “those days are bad. I can’t focus, and everything is upsetting. Sometimes I can’t leave my bed, because everything is too loud, even the light.” He picked at his nails, debating on telling his crush of his learning disability. But his need to overshare outweighed the embarrassment he felt. The same happened with his coming out- he told someone out of impulse, and suddenly the entire school knew he was bisexual. “I’m autistic, you know.” he forced out, shaking a little. It’s not that he was ashamed per se, but he was scared of the progeny’s response.

The silence was almost unbearable, until Naegi felt a shift next to him, and once he turned his head he was met with piercing blue eyes. Averting his gaze, he realized that he was inches away from Togami Byakuya, the boy he’s crushed on for almost a year. “Naegi,” he began, slowly. “You now know the most intimate detail of my life- well, one of them. If you tell another soul about-”

“I won’t! I know what it’s like to be… afraid. I know what it’s like to be different, but-but! Different doesn’t mean bad! It doesn’t make you imperfect even,” Naegi continued, and met those gorgeous blues again, “b-because I think you’re perfect, Togami.” At this, a deep blush crept up the speaker’s face, and pink even doused the cheeks of the listener. Naegi thought it was possibly the cutest thing he’d ever seen. “A-and, I don’t know, I just think you’re so smart, and I know you’re really kind behind your mean words-” Togami’s eyes widened at this- “and… and…” He trailed off, noticing the astonished look on the other boy’s face. They sat in silence for a good while, just looking at each other. Naegi’s heart began to sink, anxiety growing in his stomach.

“I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-” he was cut off by the sudden pressing of lips against his. He was shocked, the sudden intimacy making him stiff. When Togami pulled back, a look of fear blatant across his face, it was Naegi’s turn to lean in and close the gap between them. They both moved into each other, tension beginning to melt. They parted, looking at each other with newfound wonder. Togami tentatively reached out, and cupped Naegi’s cheek, to which the latter leaned into. 

Naegi did not make his way back to his dorm that night, instead he spent the hours wrapped in his new love’s arms, marveling in how truly lucky he was.


End file.
